Five Minute Friday: ACHIEVE

This post is part of the weekly Five Minute Friday series. Five minutes of free-flow writing shared with whoever wants to read it. This week’s prompt is: ACHIEVE.

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I'll be honest.  I'm writing this post two weeks late.  Not because I haven't had the time.  It's just that I haven't had the words.  But in the quest to actually stick to writing, I'll try.

I think my hesitation has come because "Achieve" is kind of a hot topic button for me.  Full disclosure- if I don't go into a challenge at least 90% sure I can complete it and do it well, I probably won't even try.  

Tryouts, auditions, or anything else that has a critique of any kind... that's a HARD PASS.

It's been like that forever.  While I am driven and as hard headed as they come, failure stops me dead in my tracks.  Because if I don't achieve my goal, everyone will know, and will see that I am not good enough. 

I'm assuming most people struggle with this, right?  Each of us have this lie inside, that was deeply planted thousands of years ago in the garden.  The lie that says everyone is against us, when all we truly want is to be fully seen and loved.

So, although it's something I have to actively work on, I am thankful that the battle has already been won.  The enemy has been defeated. The lie has been uncovered and washed away.  I just have to believe it. 

STOP.

The Terrible Lie:
Jesus Storybook Bible

Five Minute Friday: Trial

This post is part of the weekly Five Minute Friday series. Five minutes of free-flow writing shared with whoever wants to read it. This week’s prompt is: TRIAL.

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“We’ll see” seems to be my motto for ministry. (Shoutout Belton Hope House Ministry)

While we are constantly modifying our programs, I never know what is or isn’t going to work. However, when the Lord leads, I say ok.

Mommas need coats for their babies? Ok, we’ll make it work. Boom, “Coats for Kids” is up and running. The first year I brought a box of lost and found coats and laid them on the ground to pass out. Was it pretty? No. Did it meet the need? Yes. 

Families need some Christmas help? I’ll see what I can come up with.  “Christmas for Kids” started out helping one family and I sat around their tree and wrapped presents with their mom for hours. It’s still one of the best days I’ve had in ministry. 

A complete overhaul due to a global pandemic? Sure, why not. Hope House now has a drive thru. 

All of our greatest ideas at the Hope House have been born out of a “we’ll see”. A prayer and a promise. A deep breath and a shaky “here we go”. Butterflies as we unlock the door to the next project.

God says move, so we move. God says stay, so we stay. God says now, so we start to sprint. 

What should we try next? 

STOP . 

Five Minute Friday: Possibility

 This post is part of the weekly Five Minute Friday series. Five minutes of free-flow writing shared with whoever wants to read it. This week’s prompt is: POSSIBILITY.

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After dinner tonight, Jeff mentioned that it was 5 years ago today that my doctor told me we were in the clear. 

A 31 year old, with a four year old and a newborn, toe to toe with the C word. At 5 months pregnant, I discovered a lump in my cheek. At 6 months, I casually brought it up at an OB appt as “is this one of those weird pregnancy things that can happen some times?” Turns out its not… The next few months were tests, scans, biopsies, and a loose game plan to operate after I delivered the baby.  She was 2 months and 7 days old when they wheeled me in to the OR. 

As I was clearing our dinner table tonight and scraping eggs off our high chairs, what came to my mind was that the life we are living right now didn’t even seem like a possibility back then. We were living day by day. Unable to even see a week ahead as we held our breaths for what the next hour held. 

So much has changed since that scary season…

A job change.

A move into a home that exceeds any expectations we had for our family.

A pair of blue eyed babies.

Five years of life. 

LIFE.

Not just any life, but our life. 

An abundant life that has been woven by the One who held me as I held on to Him.

For dear life. 

STOP. 

Five Minute Friday: DETERMINE

 This post is part of the weekly Five Minute Friday. Five minutes of free-flow writing shared with whoever wants to read it. This week’s prompt is: DETERMINE.

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I'm not even sure where I first heard it... No doubt one of the gentle parenting blogs I low key follow.  It seems so simple but is so hard to implement:

"Do you need help or a cheerleader?"

That one simple question makes me squirm as I now have to actively choose to watch my child struggle to get something done, when I quickly could have done in less than 3 seconds.

The premise is simple.  Before swooping in to help with a task, no matter how big or small, purely ask if they need you to fix it or just wait while they do it.  

However, since implementing this, I've been amazed at how much she truly does "want a cheerleader".  Although my way most definitely would have saved her (and me) time, the beaming pride that comes radiating off of her when she has completed whatever task it is, is intoxicating. 

The other morning, we woke up to the sounds of this little love bursting into our room with a breakfast tray that she made all by herself, unprompted, just to show us how much she loves us.  With a cutting board adorned with a fruit smiley face, all of the silverware we could ever use, and cups full of goldfish, she bounded around the room explaining every step of the process. I was in absolute awe of the incredible growing girl in front of my eyes. She is changing.  Too fast. 

All of a sudden, she is learning to be more independent.  And I am starting to understand how capable she is.  Today, it's opening a snack.  Tomorrow, it will be cooking dinner.  A few more blinks and it will be walking into her dorm building.  Holding her own babies for the first time.  And then choosing to be a cheerleader for her own little loves.

Motherhood is this crazy roller coaster of struggling and stumbling along and somehow coming to the other side with perspective.  It's slowly learning, even when you don't realize it and then somehow being in a place to pass along what you've learned. What a privilege to be entrusted with something so precious. 

_____ STOP _____ 

Five Minute Friday: IMPORTANT

This post is part of the weekly Five Minute Friday. Five minutes of free-flow writing shared with whoever wants to read it. This week’s prompt is: IMPORTANT.

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We are finally here.  A time I thought we would never get to.  It seemed so impossible and so far away, yet here we are: the girls are finally on the move.  

And by on the move, I mean, they are everywhere.  In the bathroom, in the pantry.  In the trashcan, in the fridge.  In the garage, in last night's dinner still on the floor.

Eleanor (L) and Lucy (R)

With their bowed legs and diaper booty, with their t-rex arms flapping and squeals of delight, they are off. 

I never knew how important sweeping was until I was diving to fish the two day old hard boiled egg out of a tiny mouth...

I am so grateful that we have made it to this stage.  I am so exhausted now that we have made it to this stage.  I forgot how hard it was to walk through this stage!

But seriously, where did that dried up meat come from?  I JUST SWEPT!  And for the love, big kids, NO LEGOS DOWNSTAIRS!!

Yet here we are.  Doing the walking behind, making sure they don't fall.  Doing the walking before, clearing a path. Walking alongside, just to watch their beaming faces as they do something new for the first time.  And see the twinkle in their eyes wondering if they are getting caught as they do something naughty.

Plug covers, the gates on both ends of the stairs, and the dustpan are my most cherish possessions at the moment and I never thought I'd be so grateful for our monstrosity of a baby jail in the front room. 

Eleanor (L) and Lucy (R)

The important thing is that they are safe, they are learning, and they are finding joy in experiencing things for the first time.

And I am so thankful I get a front row seat.

Eleanor (L) and Lucy (R)

STOP.

Five Minute Friday: ANNOUNCE

 This post is part of the weekly Five Minute Friday. Five minutes of free-flow writing shared with whoever wants to read it. This week’s prompt is: ANNOUNCE.

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In the spring of 2012 we announced to our family and friends that we were expecting our first child!  For Jeff's family, we gave his mom a 'birthday present' frame that housed a photo of a sonogram.  For mine, we gave my mom a souvenir from a mission trip to Haiti, that we just returned from: a small statue of a pregnant lady.  

Four years later, to the month, we slid another sonogram photo in front of Jeff's mom's eyes while we were looking at children's ministry lessons. Because we had to change our upcoming travel plans to Haiti, due to this pregnancy and the arrival of Zika, we blurted out the reason to my parents over dinner at Cotton Patch. 

Another four years (and two months) later, we had another announcement.  This one was twice as sweet and we recorded the whole thing!

 

I will never get over the privilege of being able to carry a child.  It is an honor that so many aren't afforded. It took us years between babies, not by choice, but the Lord worked it all out in His perfect timing. I don't think any announcements are coming from our house any time soon, if ever again, but these are by far some of my greatest heart moments. 

Praise be to God, for His most precious gifts! 

Five Minute Friday: Still

This post is part of the weekly Five Minute Friday. Five minutes of free-flow writing shared with whoever wants to read it. This week’s prompt is: STILL.

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No matter how much I get accomplished, there is always more to do. I finish the laundry, just to see another pile growing on the floor. I wash the dishes, only to have more put in as soon as I dry my hands. The older one needs more spelling words practiced. The middle wants another snack. The babies want to eat again, just as soon as I button up my shirt. And for real. Everyone is STILL hungry?!?


I still have emails to answer, calls to return, forms to fill out, teeth to brush, lunches to pack, bottles to clean, and a bed to eventually climb into.


But, every once in a while, in the middle of the never ending to-do list, I am able to pause, take a step back, and peer into our life. I am so grateful for the chaos. Being busy reminds me just how much I have to be thankful for. A wonderful family that I get to be momma to. An amazing husband who, for whatever reason the Lord sees fit, loves me most. A wonderful ministry where I get to see the work the Lord is doing in the hard places in our community and world. And I am in awe of His goodness. Because even in the busyness, His hand is steady.


Stop.