This post is part of the weekly Five Minute Friday series. Five minutes of free-flow writing shared with whoever wants to read it. This week’s prompt is: HEAL.
Disclaimer: I was several behind, but in my challenge to myself to do every prompt this year, I wrote three this week. Feel free to check them out, as they weren't included in any of the linkups.
Now, back to HEAL:
______GO
I had never heard of the term "birth trauma" until after I had experienced it. I thought the four letters "PTSD" were reserved for those who saw horrific things in a far off land. I had not idea why it was so hard to bounce back to myself after the birth of my babies, but it all began to make sense.
NICU is a place I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. It is a place of indescribable fear. Even 18 months out, I still tear up anytime I think about my time there. Every day. All day. For 25 excruciating days.
Before I had experienced it, NICU was just a place for sick babies to get well. It was just another room in the hospital. I never pulled the letters apart to realize it was an ICU - Intensive Care Unit for newborn babies. Wasn't it just another place?
One thing I think most people don't realize is that it is a place that kept my babies alive. Not just another room. Not just a nursery with extra nurses, to keep watch while I was "lucky" to get a full nights sleep. It's a place that pulled out all the stops so my babies could survive coming months early. The ICU for newborns. Intensive Care Unit. Without it, they would have died.
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| Our first time holding the babies and their first photo together 😍😍 |
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| Sister Snuggles |
How wonderful that your children survived, but there is a deep delayed trauma when we give of ourselves to support our loved ones. The joy is there, but the cost also has to be acknowledged. May God bless you and your family. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteIt is so hard to even imagine. I was lucky that we never needed that level of care, but it is amazing that it's there for those who do. <3 PS I also thought PTSD was a "soldier problem" until I got to know my now husband who has it from childhood trauma :(
ReplyDeleteI'm so sad to hear of this difficult time, Jen, and pray you continue to heal and recover. I'm rejoicing with you and your family over the precious lives of these two girls! I'm so glad you are moving forward in your writing by writing every prompt this year. Celebrating the steps forward with you! ~Lisa, FMF #3
ReplyDeleteWow, thanks so much for raising awareness of this! As a former preemie myself, I cannot really understand what it was like to be in the NICU as a parent and obviously I was too young to remember what it was like for myself. However, I completely understand having your babies early can lead to PTSD.
ReplyDeleteTwo of my children (each) spent only days in the NICU - and even in those short visits I was overwhelmed at the fragilness of the newborns in the isolettes next to my children. I literally could not sleep thinking of them...and can only imagine the toll it was for their parents. So a joy to see how your girls are thriving now -
ReplyDeletePrecious picture of the two of them.
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